Midlife has not come easy for me and I’m sure there are a lot of you who can relate to that. However, after getting over the threshold, I made a promise to myself that if I do nothing else in life I will help make a difference in other lives.
I’m going to share a few of the issues that I faced while entering midlife:
First, I was a business owner who, in the throes of The Great Recession, was faced with closing my business which took me 8 years of hard work to build. No Bueno!
Second, my only child was facing a very horrible addiction at that time. As a mother, I worked hard and long, cried and screamed, loved and lost to save my only child.
Third, while closing my business and attempting to save my child, my younger sister was diagnosed with lung cancer. Really God!? You really think, I’m that strong! YOU ARE WRONG! those were my exact words at the time. God wasn’t listening … my sister placed my nephew in my hands because he too had an addiction problem and she felt that I was the only one capable of helping him. Ya know considering I have been through it before… thanks Sis!
Things did calmed down for a bit …. then Wham! Menopause decided to rear its ugly head with all it had! I’m not talking about the occasional hot flash or night sweat … I’m talking about the most severe case imaginable … I had 34 of the 38 symptoms listed on WebMD all at once. I was a basket case who could barely function from minute to minute never mind rehab two addicts and assist my mother in caring for my ill sister as much as I could from a distance.
But, I did it! I trudged through and did everything I could think of doing to help the ones I loved and put myself on the back burner. Once again, God thought he gave me a super cape because my Momma was diagnosed with melanoma. I gotta say, all this was the worse experience I could have ever had all at once. I spent three (3) months caring for my Momma, with my sister helping me as much as she possibly could. Frankly, just having her there to cry, laugh and yell at medical personnel was all I needed. She was my rock during that time. I also came back home with an unofficial medical degree in oncology, I laugh now, but it really wasn’t funny then. Unfortunately, we lost Momma that year.
Things slowed down, once again, this time it slowed to the degree that I could bring my sister up to stay with me for the Spring and together we mourned the loss of our Momma. On a good note, she was able to spend time with her son, whom she entrusted me with. This was the first time he was sober in a very long time. That Spring, I took care of her and she took care of me, as I was still at the mercy of severe menopause. I lost my sister the following Winter. She went home to be with Momma. But, my life continued, menopause, addiction, financial strife ensued.
Until, the day I said ENOUGH IS ENOUGH and I’m not taking it anymore! Things have got to change and change they did. It was awakening and little by little my life started to begin. I’m happy to report my son and nephew are both sober and my menopause is now under control naturally. My Momma and my sister live in me each and every day!
Here I am today, throwing my strife in your face, to let you know it’s gonna be okay. You have a friend in me and I’m here to help. No topic is taboo, menopause, addiction, caretaking of a terminally ill loved one and most of all how we can love ourselves once again and embrace our midlife.
Has your family suffered through addiction, caretaking of the terminally ill, menopause?
See you in the comments,